I know its late, but Ive had a busy weekend. Weighin was on Saturday, :( I only lost 0.7kgs... pissed off with myself and my efforts. Feeling very down and despondent. Exercise today was hard, I felt like I was going to pass out several times. Trevor had a talk to me before the exercise, and He said at this stage it is normal to feel demotivated, but I must just perservere. He was very sweet and he said he was proud of me, but I'm not proud of me. Everyone keeps telling me I am doing really well. 6.7kgs in 4 weeks. But I don't think so. I think its sucky, I think compared to the 120 kilos I have to lose its a freaking drop in the ocean. I am so stressed and feeling so down, I don't know what to do with myself. I feel like such a loser, and not in a good way. My inability to get another job, the fact that I am not wanted at my current (soon to be ending) job, and the fact that the weight is trickling off me and not pouring off me is all contributing. Not to mention the fact that I can't pay my bills and I have to ask my dad to help me, but he's in a bad mood because the cat wee'd on his bed and he's taking it out on me, shouting at me about stuff thats not even related, and all I really need is a hug. I miss my mom so badly at times like this. This is probably the hardest thing I'll ever do in my whole life, and I am really struggling with it. All I really want to do is to crawl into bed and surface 4 months later. I such wonderful friends, and supportive people around me, and I really want to be strong and show them I can do it, but inside I feel like a little girl, who just wants her mommy to kiss and make it all better. But sadly that can never happen again. Why is it so freaking hard? Why can't I just invent a pill which will make the kilos fall off, then I'll be thin and a multi millionaire. :) Anyway, I think I'm just tired, off to bed. Sorry for the morose post. I'll try be better tomorrow.
xxx
Candy
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Hey Candy, I know its hard when the weight loss is slow, but I always remember something my trainer and best friend told me when I threw a tantrum : If you stop now you will not lose anything, and you will gain what youi have lost back, so stopping just isn't an option.
ReplyDeleteIts natural to feel down, but just accpet that you will feel better eventually and just carry on with your program regardless and it will just take as long as it takes.
*Big Hug* Sharon
hey you!! Go give your dad a hug he also needs it, and remember we don't get overweight in 13 weeks and so we can't lose it all in 13 weeks, just concentrate on losing 25 now and just think 6.7 out of 25 is 25% in 4 weeks and thats flipping marvellous. I am so proud of you.
ReplyDeleteKeep that chin up. Blessings and big hugs Carol